How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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