Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize