i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
