I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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