After last night, I could never be a politician.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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