hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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