You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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