I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize