i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
