does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
