just come out here and I will go home with you...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
