HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
