what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
