Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
