he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
