What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
