May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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