what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
