can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My cat gives me a boner
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
