Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
