He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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