And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
