Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
