I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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