He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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