You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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