The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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