Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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