dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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