dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
