No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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