Fine. I'll sleep in my office
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
