I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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