Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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