"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize