I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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