The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
