when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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