You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
