strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
