from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
