I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
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