My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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