ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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