Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
