put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
