she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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