I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
