just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
