took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
