So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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