Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
