C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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