so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
