Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
