just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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