New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
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There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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