Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
