I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
