guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
