If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize