Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
