Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
